


future

by stabbystars



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, talks of the future
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:33:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25909669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stabbystars/pseuds/stabbystars
Summary: you have fearful doubts about the future, aaron comforts you.
Relationships: Aaron Hotchner/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 35





	future

the bedroom was completely silent yet you couldn’t sleep. you had been tossing and turning all night just..  _ thinking _ . despite the warm presence of your boyfriend, aaron hotchner, beside you you were absolutely restless. the thoughts of the future weighed down on your mind like an anchor sinking underwater, the uncertainty of it all terrified you to no end. 

your shoulders started to shake as tears clouded your vision, you practically slapped a hand over your mouth to contain the small whimpering noises that slipped out. your boyfriend deserved as much rest as he could get, being the unit chief of the BAU often left him with no sleep when he was on a case. your body only trembled more when you tried to push yourself carefully out of his arms, ‘ _ dammit, (y/n)! you know how exhausted he is! he wouldn’t want you waking him up for this type of thing.’ _ .

once you successfully reach the edge of your side of the bed you sit up and push yourself to stand. you’re happy that your shared apartment didn’t have creaky floors as you walked into the small kitchen. grabbing a glass as quietly as you can you then begin to fill it with water. you settle on the sofa as the tears start pouring faster down your face, your chest aches as you attempt to muffle your sobs. 

a quiet, sleepy voice comes from the bedroom, “love? where’d you go?”. aaron starts making his way out to the kitchen and into the living room, yawning and stretching as he moves. he freezes as his eyes land on you, breath catching in his throat at the sight of your tears. 

he makes a beeline to the couch and places his hands on your shoulders, trying to get you to make eye contact with him. “honey, what’s wrong? what happened?”. his questions didn’t help soothe you at all, they just made the sobs stronger. you felt awful and guilty for waking him up, adding onto your scary thoughts it just made you feel miserable. 

he wrapped you in his arms once he realized his words weren’t going to help. you felt like pushing him away, still buried in guilt, but his warmth just felt so  _ good _ . your head found its way to his chest and your breathing calmed a bit, his scent making you feel incredibly safe. 

he pulled back a bit to pick up your glass of water and encourage you to take a sip. his hand carefully rubbing your back as you drink, the soothing gesture a small comfort. your sobs turned into mere sniffles in minutes.

“alright, love, you don’t need to tell me what’s wrong if you don’t want to but i need you to know that i’m here for you.” his voice was low and comforting, making your chest feel warm with his presence. “i love you so much baby, i’ll stay right here with you until you feel better.”

he reached up to brush your tears away as they fell. as you attempted to speak your words caught in your throat, it felt like barbed wire was wrapped around your throat, making it impossible to speak through your tears. he could tell you were struggling and pulled you back closer to him, your head snuggling into his chest immediately. you felt his body rocking yours back and forth slowly, the soft swaying making the barbed wire feeling grow smaller and smaller. 

after a couple minutes, or it could have been hours for all you knew, your ability to speak returned and you mumbled into his chest. 

his voice is so quiet in the dark apartment as he speaks, “what was that, love? i couldn’t hear you.” he places a kiss on the top of your head as you begin to free yourself from his chest. 

your voice came out shaky and small, “i-i’m scared, aaron. so so scared.” 

“scared of what, angel?”

“of.. of  _ everything _ , of the future, of the present, it’s everything aaron. i know i’m being stupid about this and i’m sorry for waking you-” his next words cut you off.

“hey now, none of that. i love you, i would wake up this early for the rest of my life if i knew you would feel better because of it. now, sweetheart, what’s really bothering you?” he reaches up to brush the hair out of your face.

you place your hand over his, holding him to your face, “i just keep thinking about our relationship, i’ve never had a boyfriend as amazing as you. i’m afraid of losing you, of losing the best thing that’s ever happened to me. the future has always scared me but now the stakes are so high. i know i have nothing to fear but i can’t help thinking you’ll get sick of me and leave.” as you spoke your tears had come to cloud your vision again. the fears being said out loud made them feel so  _ real _ . 

“oh (y/n).. i’m so sorry you’ve been feeling this way. you’re  _ not _ going to lose me, you hear me? you’re like the northern star, you guide me home. after all those long nights of me not being home, of helping care for jack like he’s your own, you’re still here. you’re the constant in my life that i’ve always dreamed of. i  _ need _ you, i’m not letting you go ever.” his own eyes were watering now, though he had a smile telling you he was telling nothing but the truth. 

“a-aaron..” tears had started streaming down your face, although they were happier this time around, “i love you so much. i know i sound so stupid but i felt so guilty for being doubtful and waking you up i suppose it all just.. spilled out. i’m never letting you go,  _ ever _ .”

“angel, you never have to feel guilty about waking me up or asking for some comfort. i’m your boyfriend, that's my job. i love giving you hugs and kisses and all the things that make you feel better.” he pulled you forward and gave you a gentle kiss on the forehead. 

“you’re the best boyfriend ever. you know that, right?” you scoot up and kiss him, he stays there for a moment and smiles into the kiss.

“and you’re the best girlfriend.” you giggle against him as he speaks, he starts to pepper your face with kisses, leaving no skin untouched.

he raises himself from the couch and extends his arm out to you, “let’s go back to bed, honey.” you stand with his help and he guides you both back to the bedroom. he wraps you in his arms as you lay down next to him. it only takes a few moments for your eyes to shut and for you to drift into a peaceful and mindless rest.

**Author's Note:**

> please come talk to me on my tumblr @sapphicstars !


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